By B. Kim Barnes

Most of our important business, professional, and personal relationships are ongoing. Relationships in which we communicate and influence one another develop a history. Any specific influence opportunity or event is affected by the past and helps shape the future of the influence relationship. In other words, every time you influence someone you are making it either easier or harder to influence him or her the next time.

…While we both focus on the topic of influence, we approach it from different backgrounds. This has led to many interesting conversations. We thought it might be useful to share some of them with you. We took several influence situations (borrowed with permission from Barnes & Conti’s Exercising Influence program material) and thought about how we might advise a client to approach them.

You need the support of a senior manager to sell your department on the need for a change in a key business process. This manager is not noted for risk-taking and usually prefers to have direct reports out front on changes. This time you need a strong and public commitment.

Kim Barnes, who is, of course, the developer of our Exercising Influence program and author of the book, Exercising Influence: A Guide For Making Things Happen at Work, at Home, and in Your Community (Third Edition) recently engaged in a fascinating dialogue on social media regarding silence and influence.

A few years ago, author Connie Cass cited an Associated Press poll showing that nearly two-thirds of the Americans in their sample had low trust in others – compared to only one-third in a similar poll forty years earlier. It’s easy to blame this on increasing urbanization, on the media’s “if it bleeds, it leads” approach to informing us about the world, on greater use of the internet with fewer face-to-face social interactions, or perhaps the increasing rancor of our politics has “tribalized” our society and set us against one another.

In my previous post [Ed. Note: see “How to Build Trust in a Low-Trust Era”], I suggested that trust was a key factor in helping people work more effectively and efficiently on teams. As formal or informal leaders, it’s our responsibility to help team members focus and move toward action in order to achieve a desired outcome. There are three basic ways that we can accomplish this: through the use of direct power, through manipulation, and by using interpersonal influence.