Barnes & Conti Newsletter: March 2003

Peaceable KingdomPeace, Harmony, and Conflict Management

During these challenging times, many of us are doing a lot of thinking about war and peace, conflict and harmony. In this issue we’d like to share with you some thoughts and best practices regarding conflict and its resolution or management; ideas that we can apply within our own spheres of influence. Many years ago, as a student of the martial art of aikido (which is variously interpreted to mean either the way to universal harmony or the way to harmony with the universe) I learned a few key principles that I have had occasion to apply from time to time with varying degrees of success.  In aikido, as in other Japanese martial arts, the “warrior” is seen as the protective spirit.  

These principles are to be interpreted by those who are most engaged in the situation; people of good will may disagree about how and when to apply them.  There are no easy answers in this complex world, but there are awesome responsibilities.

My friend and sensai (teacher), the late Terry Dobson, used to say, "The goal of conflict is harmony." He saw conflict as energy for change. He would show us the yin-yang symbol and say, "There is the yin, the yang, and the easyÖwhich is the line between the two." The "easy" means to avoid the extremes of aggression or submission; fight or flight. The "easy" is never the obvious way.

Our deepest hopes are for the safety of those involved in current conflicts and for the restoration of harmony in relationships among nations. Regardless of the outcome of current events, conflict will continue to be a reality in our world. Some conflicts are preventable. Some conflicts should be played out; others are not worth the risk. Some are best handled by third-party peacemakers. In our own lives and organizations, we can commit to taking a conscious and thoughtful approach to conflict rather than being reactive. Some questions that are worth asking include:

The articles excerpted below illustrate other productive ideas about conflict prevention, management and resolution.

—Kim

In this Issue:

Principles of Peacemaking, Peacekeeping, and Negotiation

B. Kim Barnes, Barnes & Conti President and CEO

PeacemakingMuch can be learned about conflict management and resolution from the experience of people who have been involved in difficult and long-term international conflicts. About 20 years ago, I was privileged to hear a keynote speech by the Honorable Harland Cleveland, former Assistant Secretary of State and Ambassador to NATO and Director of the Hubert Humphrey Institute of Public Policy. He spelled out a number of principles for conflict management garnered from his experience in international diplomacy.

  1. Agreements on next steps are only possible if parties are not forced to agree on the causes of the conflict.
  2. No conflict is merely two-sided. Real conflicts are always multi-lateral. We need to recognize the limitation of two-sided procedures such as the courtroom.
  3. Voting is an inferior means of conflict management, because it produces two-sidedness. People argue differently toward a conclusion than toward an action. A consensus is required for committed action.
  4. Procedure can become a surrogate for substance.
  5. Creep up carefully on the use of force. The purpose of force is to accomplish limited objectives with the least risk of escalation.
  6. It helps to widen the community of concern—this should be considered early in a conflict.
  7. Courage to tackle a problem is directly proportional to distance from the problem—this is why the regional approach to peacekeeping does not work.
  8. Know the costs as well as the benefits of openness (to the press and the public). Openness produces posturing in meetings.
  9. Private consultation is needed as part of the process. Everyone does not have to be involved in everything.
  10. The third party is indispensable, though often lacking. He or she helps the parties articulate what they want.
  11. Power is not just force. There is a Chinese saying, "Big noise on stairs, nobody coming down."
  12. Our standards are not the world’s standards. As Clarence Darrow said, we need to watch our tendency to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions.
  13. We need to take an interdisciplinary approach rather than narrow our degrees of freedom for both reflection and action. The difficulty is not how to make the conflict simple enough to deal with, but to get our thinking to be complex enough to deal with it.
  14. Some tensions are promising and should be allowed to run their course—we need not resolve everything.

Some advice from Gerald Johnston, Ph.D., who was part of the successful SALT 1 talks between the U.S. and the then Soviet Union:

A Process for Reaching Agreement on Complex Issues with Multiple Stakeholders

Ken Cunningham and John Spencer; Foreword by Kim Barnes

Foreword

One of the benefits of working at Procter and Gamble’s Cincinnati headquarters over the past few years was the opportunity to reconnect with many old friends from my life there in the 1960s and '70s. In a conversation with one of them, landscape architect Ken Cunningham, I learned about a very interesting participatory design process that he and partner John Spencer have developed and implemented in situations with multiple stakeholders. I was particularly interested in a complex planning project that was implemented in an inner-city neighborhood. As I heard about it, I thought that the approach could be modified to apply to many complex decisions with multiple stakeholders. An excerpt from the article follows.

The City of Cincinnati Planning Department contracted with Kenneth Cunningham & Associates Inc (KCAI) for the Over-the-Rhine (OTR) Comprehensive Plan enhancement area studies. Over-the-Rhine is a historic area in Cincinnati that is in the process of transition and renewal...

Over the RhineKenneth Cunningham and Associates’ focus was working with... committees and additional participants using their participatory design process...

Phases of the design process

The participatory design process consists of the following phases:

Click here to download the complete article

Self-Inquiry: The Hardest Part of Conflict Resolution?

Eric Lewis Beckman, Barnes & Conti Vice President

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”— Walt Kelly

Conflict often develops when our positive expectations are not met by another person’s behavior—or when we have negative expectations which are met. It is important to remember that we have a choice in how we interpret those behaviors and our subsequent emotional response. While it often seems like the process just happens, we subconsciously (or even unconsciously) choose our interpretations and responses based on our expectations of the other person.

We can often break this “cycle of response” by practicing a little listening Jujitsu. The idea is to stop youself from saying anything in your own defense while being verbally attacked. Instead of reacting defensively (the most common response), pause to think about what has been said, and respond only through active listening/inquiring with questions or responses like:.

  • What occurred that caused problems for you?
  • So, from your point of view, you believe...
  • Tell me more about...
  • Help me understand how that happened...

    By asking questions to inquire or listening to check understanding, we often clarify our own perceptions and contributions to the conflict, while simultaneously helping defuse the other person’s attacks..

    A good way to practice “Listening Jujitsu” is to get a friend or colleague to work with you, playing out a specific situation. Have them respond to your explanation of the situation by attacking your position, intelligence, competence, etc. for three full minutes. You can only counter with questions or listening responses. A third person acting as an observer is often helpful as well. That person can keep you on track if you start to say anything in your defense.

    “When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.” —Confucius

    Remember, we have a choice in how we interpret others’ behaviors in any conflict situation. It may be difficult to step outside the conflict long enough to begin the inquiry process, but with some practice, you will find your own ability to do so growing with every encounter.

    Reminder: Conflict to Consensus

    Conflict to ConsensusAs this newsletter speaks of conflict, peacemaking, and consensus building. we thought we’d mention our relatively new program, From Conflict to Consensus. This program enables a better understanding of conflict sources and provides methods to take advantage of differences among team members rather than escalating them into unproductive conflict.

    To find out more, please go to http://www.barnesconti.com/programs/conflict.html

    What’s New at Barnes & Conti?

    General PhysicsNew Partner—General Physics Corporation

    We We’

    To read more about General Physics and our partner companies, click here

    Barnes & Conti at ASTD

    Kim Barnes and Janne Rochlin, our Director of Client Services, will be presenting a workshop at the International Conference of the American Society of Training & Development (ASTD). Kim and Janne will share details of the process of an intervention implementing the principles of intelligent risk-taking in a clinical division of a large pharmaceutical company. We will be “at home” in booth 934 at the Expo. Please stop by and say hello!

    If you will be attending ASTD in San Diego, please send us an email so we can send you an invitation to a reception featuring wine, cheese, networking, fun, and a chance to contribute your ideas to our “Stone Soup” leadership project.

    For details about ASTD, click here.

    Barnes & Conti at Project Management Conferences

    Kim will also be presenting at two project management conferences this spring. On April 16, Kim will be at the Digital Computer Institute (DCI) on April 16, where she will speaking on Exercising Influence: The People Side of Project Management. On May 16, she will present a special version of Exercising Influence for the San Francisco Bay Chapter of the Project Management Institute (PMI).

    For details, click here.

    Public Programs 2003

    Our entire roster of 2003 public programs is available for online registration at the link below. For the first time ever, we are offering Strategic Thinking and From Conflict to Consensus as public programs. We will also be offering Exercising Influence, Intelligent Risk-Taking, Constructive Negotiation, and COACH for Peak Performance. Upcoming programs are listed below.

    Exercising Influence
    June 3-4, 2003, San Francisco, CA

    Strategic Thinking
    July 16, 2003 , San Francisco, CA

    From Conflict to Consensus
    May 13-14, 2003, San Francisco, CA

    To register for one of our public programs, click here
    or go to: www.barnesconti.com/ppsched.php

    Recipe: Lamb Stew with Olives (Agnello stufado con olive)

    Two of the classic images that bring to mind the hope of peace are the lamb—with the proverbial lion, of course, and the olive branch. This classic Italian recipe combines a part of each image for what we hope is a conflict resolving, peace inspiring—as well as warm and nourishing—stew.

    Ingredients:

    1. Rub generous amount of salt and pepper into lamb, permit it to cure for an hour or so (optional).
    2. Warm olive oil and brown lamb. Remove to a plate when done. Saute onion and garlic to translucence, add tomatoes and thyme. Stir for 1-2 minutes. Add wine, bring to simmer, reducing sauce for 5 minutes. Return lamb and juices to pan, braise over low flame for about one hour.
    3. Stir in olives and vinegar, allow lamb to rest one hour or overnight, then reheat gently.

    PhilosopherJust for Fun:

    Conflict Resolution? A philosopher falls asleep and dreams.  In his dream, one by one, the greatest philosophers of all time stand before him and systematically state their views and arguments:  Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Kant, Hume, Descartes, etc.  But in each case the philosopher, dramatically pointing his finger at the presenter, was able to come up with a devastating objection that left the presenting philosopher speechless and unable to effectively reply.  In fact, the philosopher realized it was the same objection in every case—he had found the perfect philosophical move to make in conferences and colloquia!The philosopher forced himself to wake up and write the objection down on a convenient slip of paper, then, he drifted dreamily back to sleep with a smile on his face.  When he awoke the next morning he read the words:
    “THAT’S WHAT YOU SAY!”

    Say What?

    An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement.

    Is Conflict Always Bad?

    People often avoid conflict in their personal and professional lives, yet conflict is an important contributor to the growth and development of individuals and organizations. As the great pacifist Mahatma Gandhi said, “Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.”It is also wise to remember Harry Lime’s famous quip in the movie The Third Man—that 30 years of noisy, violent churning under the Borgias of Italy produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance, while 500 years of peace, quiet, and harmony in Switzerland produced the cuckoo clock.Innovation has a certain amount of conflict at its heart. The religious philosopher David Hartman noted that “A monolithic framework does not create a critical mind. Where there is only one self-evident truth, nothing ever gets challenged and no sparks of creativity ever get generated.”—Eric Lewis Beckman
    Copyright © 2003 Barnes & Conti Associates, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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