Making the World a Better Place
B. Kim Barnes
The holidays this year come at a dark time, a time of significant disruptive change in the world we thought we knew. We are horrified by the stories of suffering among people who have lost their land, their home, their children, their trade or profession, their place in the world. Leaders and pundits have misread the national mood in a number of places: Colombia, Britain, the US, perhaps Italy and France as well.
Values such as generosity of spirit, a welcoming attitude to the lost and oppressed, and respect for those who are different from ourselves seem to have been overwhelmed by darker emotions such as fear of strangers, loss of a belief in our ability to learn and change, a desire for certainty and power, a need to blame, punish, or scapegoat others.
These changes are evident on both the right and the left of the political spectrum. The darker emotions can arise even among friends, family, and co-workers. The voices of moral authority are drowned out— temporarily, one hopes— by cries of anger or triumphalism. Our sense of what’s true depends on what we prefer to hear and with whom we prefer to identify. So what is there to celebrate in this particular festive season?
It is too easy to become cynical, to give up, to hide. Rather than do that, I will try to reach out, to question and listen, to go beyond my usual boundaries and consider new and unusual solutions. I will choose to celebrate connection, learning, and the creative spirit.
Just outside of my building the weekend after the U.S. election, hundreds of people of all ages, nationalities, races, genders, and persuasions joined hands around the lake and sang the late, great, Leonard Cohen’s anthem, Hallelujah about trying and failing and trying again.
In the spirit of Leonard Cohen’s song, I have been reading op-eds reflecting about where many of us went wrong and what we can learn by considering what has happened. As I work on the new edition of our Managing Innovation program, I have an opportunity once again to marvel at the ingenuity of human beings to achieve what were once only dreams.
In this, the Northern Hemisphere’s season of darkness, people have always celebrated the beginning of the return of the light. Connect. Learn. Create. Returning to the light will take all three of these actions to guide us there. Trevor Noah’s mother asks him a question every day. It’s a question we might wish to ask ourselves each day of the new year. “Are you making the world a better place?”
Changing the Dialogue
Lauren Powers, SVP, Business Development
I usually try to separate my personal life from my work life,
as it has always felt cleaner and easier that way. Facebook is
for friends and family; LinkedIn is for professional networking.
I typically don’t sell training services to my personal friends.
I try to refrain from political conversations when talking with
clients. I stay non-partisan, recognizing that people hold different
beliefs and opinions. Still, it has been difficult during this
election cycle to remain neutral in conversations with others with
whom I have highly discordant views.
I was saddened recently when I spoke to two friends, both high school teachers, who have been told by their respective administrations that they should suspend discussions of politics, since physical fights, name-calling, and arguments were breaking out among students. One of them was a history teacher! How can we evolve as a society if we don’t know how to respond to those who think differently from us?
The name-calling on both sides, the treatment of human beings as something other than human, and the polarization of perspectives do not serve us well as a society. We, as leadership and organizational development professionals have a responsibility to call it out and take responsible action. We cannot stay silent and allow others to spew hatred and act irresponsibly from a place of unchecked anger. Bullying, threatening, and physical altercations are not normal reactions to political disagreements in America; these behaviors cannot be tolerated.
As professionals, regardless of political affinities, here is what we can do to contribute to rebuilding a more civil discourse, creating a supportive and safe environment for all, and preserving our humanity:
- Draw the line between what is fair game and what are vile attacks on our core values and our responsibilities to one another as human beings.
- Listen to people who are fierce in their opinions and find a way to seek understanding of where they are coming from…but draw the line when hatred or trampling on human rights is at issue; don’t hesitate to call people out for that.
- Speak out about your personal values and the importance of making sure that despite our difference of opinions about how to get to a certain outcome or what those outcomes should be, our shared values of human decency and respect are honored first and foremost.
- Encourage vigorous debate so that all ideas can be heard and as a result, a robust discussion of potential solutions can ensue. But, make sure it is the ideas that are being challenged, and not human beings!
- Read, study, research—not just points that you agree with, although that is, no doubt, fun. See how the other side thinks and how they got to where they are. We each have our own reality and sometimes we need to catch a glimpse of someone else’s reality, as difficult as that can be.
- Suspend some judgment…check the assumptions you are making and challenge yourself to remain open to a worldview that is different from your own. Listen actively and check your understanding to make sure the other knows that you understand.
- When listening actively, avoid the temptation to make the other’s position sound ridiculous or mean-spirited.
- Set some strong ground rules for how these discussions can take place. I do believe that we are at a tipping point, and, out of the pain of being a divided nation, we can find a way to gain clarity—but only if we have open dialogue where all input is valued and respected, and no one is made to feel less than human.
- Every time
you disagree with a position, see if you can find some aspect
of it where you are willing to be influenced. What is your range
of flexibility?
Once you discover that, you may be able to make
progress in changing the other person’s perspective—inviting
the other to follow your example.
We need to learn how to engage in real discourse…too much is at stake to become polarized. We have an opportunity to learn from this painful and divided election and emerge better as a result of it… but only if we seize the lessons, develop some empathy, stand up for what is sacred and be vocal about what line can’t be crossed when it comes to human decency.
Barnes & Conti: 2016 Fun FAQs!
1. What’s our most in-demand
program?
Exercising Influence continues to lead the way. Influence, according to many studies, is one of the most important leadership competencies. Our global customers are using this program, translated into ten languages, as a foundational and important component of their professional and leadership curricula.
2. What programs are catching up?
- This has been the year of Strategic Thinking! We have been working with the pharma, medical device, biotech and technology industries and taking a deeper dive with legal and procurement groups. Why Strategic Thinking? Customer organizations tell us that they need to help their leaders shift their mind-sets, take the long view, challenge assumptions, and recognize cognitive biases as they consider their decisions.
- Managing Innovation, Intelligent Risk-Taking and Creating a Culture for Risk and Innovation continue to build a strong following as we work to help organizations transform their culture, through innovation, to provide greater value to their customers, and to manage risk in highly regulated business environments without losing their innovative edge.
- Our internal consulting programs have supported HR, IT, Strategy and other shared services groups to build effective partnerships with their internal clients; to keep their balance as both insider and outsider, managing the issues that can arise.
- We also saw an upswing in the need for conflict management and communication skills to respond to the complex web of relationships in today’s high-pressure organizations.
3. Where has our work brought us this year?
B&C and our partners have worked in the US, Canada, Mexico, Chile, Brazil, Singapore, China, Japan, India, Malaysia, France, the UK, Germany, Belgium, Australia, Israel, Saudi Arabia, and Poland.
4. How much of our work is global?
Almost half of our work is conducted outside of the US. We have a wonderful network of talented global partners and facilitators who add great cultural richness to the work we do. Thank you to all of them!
5. What industries have we been working with?
We began working with real estate firms this year and continue our work with clients in healthcare, pharmaceuticals and biotechnology, medical devices, technology, telecommunications, financial services and insurance, consumer products, higher education, non-profits and government, manufacturing and professional sports organizations.
We are proud to continue to serve the non-profit sector and offer a discount for our services to support the good work they do, day in and day out!
6. What’s New?
- We developed a very cool mobile app for our Managing Innovation program. See link at right to check it out. We’re making it free for our clients and friends until the end of the year.
- We are doing more and more with blended learning solutions, making sure that precious classroom time is optimized for application.
- We are in the midst of updating our key programs, including Exercising Influence, to take advantage of the latest research in neuroscience and behavioral economics. We’re also changing the look and feel of materials and providing an array of options for clients to have more customized programs.
- We have designed and begun to deliver a long-term culture change intervention built around our Managing Innovation program.
- We are thrilled to welcome a new global partner in Australia, Lighthouse Group, a leading leadership strategy and training firm with offices in Sydney and Melbourne.
- Recent Personnel
Changes
- Janne Rochlin, after 18 years with us, decided to retire from Barnes & Conti this year. We will miss her, although she will forever remain part of the B&C family!
- Nermin Soyalp joined us this past month. Nermin is wrapping up her PhD and will be helping us manage development projects as well as contributing to curriculum design. We hope to be able to incorporate some of her fascinating research on employee engagement and conflict resolution, and her background in statistics as we update our programs.
Holiday Conflict Management
Eric Beckman,
Barnes & Conti President
The holiday season continually reminds us of family, community, harmony, and peace, yet the heightened and compounding expectations of everyone can lead to extra stress as well. Unfortunately, the extra stress can lead to increased risk of conflict with the very people we hope to spend time in harmony with.
There are a few things we can do to help navigate our way through all the holiday parties and gatherings with a minimum of negative conflict along the way.
Here are some tips for getting through it all in one piece!
Prepare for events by reminding yourself that conflicts may arise despite best intentions. Picture yourself calm and relaxed in even worst-case scenarios. What would that look like and feel like?
See if you can get some agreements made about ground-rules for the event. At a recent multi-family Thanksgiving, the host laid down a ground-rule of “no political talk during dinner,” and anyone who broke the rule would eat alone on the porch. It worked so well that the consequences had to be restated only once.
Remember that we can only control ourselves. If you think about how hard it is to change something about yourself, even something you don't like, you will realize what little hope there is in changing others. Others will do things differently than you. Even if you think you could do it “better,” most of the time their way will be good enough.
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In this Issue:
- “Making the World a Better Place,”
by B. Kim Barnes - “Changing the Dialogue,” by Lauren Powers
- Barnes & Conti 2016: Fun FAQS
- "Holiday Conflict Management," by Eric Beckman
- Featured Art (above): “Winter,” by Marc Chagall
- Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast (See below)
- New for 2017: Managing Innovation App
- Just for Fun (see below)
Does the dialogue in your company or workplace need to shift?
Barnes & Conti has years of experience helping you develop the difficult communication skills of influence, negotiation, constructive debate, and conflict resolution. In addition to our popular Exercising Influence™ program, we offer the following:
Follow any of the above links to learn more about these offerings.
Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast 2016
The Barnes & Conti Virtual Feast is now a 16 year-old tradition. Along with our holiday potluck, we started sharing favorite holiday recipes with our friends, colleagues, partners, and customers (some of you fit in several or all of those categories!). The virtual feast has become so popular, that we continue making the virtual feast the centerpiece of our holiday newsletter.
Recipes in this Year's Feast
Apple Delight
Bette Krakau, makes these “ inside out apple crisps” for a
holiday brunch.
Empañadas
Lauren Powers, Senior VP of Business Development, shares this family
favorite.
Eric’s Holiday
Rice Snow Balls
Here’s a festive snack or hors d’oeuvre from Barnes & Conti
President, Eric Beckman.
Middle Eastern
Beet Dip with Yogurt and Tahini
Joel Kleinbaum, Web Developer, contributed this unusual and versatile
recipe in an attempt to get people to eat more vegetables.
Louisiana Gumbo
An American original contributed by Janne Rochlin, this recipe
was inspired by a Thanksgiving meal with her daughter’s
in-laws, and reflects the cultural melting pot of New Orleans.
Thai Butternut
Soup
Operations Manager Elaine Turcotte contributed this hearty, warming
soup.
Sweet and Sour
Chicken
Chief Innovation Strategist Nelson Soken shares a favorite recipe
from his childhood in Hawaii.
Eggnog Crème Brûlée Barnes & Conti CEO, Kim Barnes contributed this holiday inspired twist on a classic dessert.
New for 2017: Managing Innovation App
Barnes & Conti has developed a helpful reference application for your iPhone, iPod Touch, or even your iPad. This app references the skill-sets, mindsets, and Avatars of Innovation from the “Innovation Journey” of the Managing Innovation™ program.
In addition to being a handy reference for the skill-sets and tools necessary to manage innovation, the app also includes:
- Key innovation concepts and definitions
- Targets for innovation, with examples
- Tools for each phase of your “Innovation Journey”
Click here to view in iTunes store.
Check back with us in January for an Android version.
Just for Fun
Traveling Woes and Mistletoe
It was December 23rd. The airport was jammed, the weather was bad, and just about every other flight was delayed. The terminal was full of garish red and green, while cheesy Christmas Muzak blared from the loudspeakers.
A man had been standing in line nearly half an hour to rebook his flight and he finally reached the ticket counter. As he put his luggage against the scale, his head grazed a large cluster of tacky, plastic mistletoe. Irritated, he snapped at the (female) attendant, "What’s this here for? You certainly don’t want irate travelers like me kissing you?"
“Sir,” said the attendant, “if you’ll notice, the mistletoe is not above me, but over the luggage scale.”
“The luggage scale? Why is it hanging over the luggage scale?”
She winked and said, “We just thought you might want to kiss your luggage goodbye.”
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